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Bo Pelini once took a mulligan on a hole in one.

Jesus has a WWBPD stick on his SUV!

Bo Pelini is all of Jay-z's 99 problems

Bo Pelini can dribble a football

When Pelini takes a swim, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Pelinied.

Bo Pelini doesn't read offenses. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bo Pelini.

Bo Pelini could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his headset and four different ways with his play chart.

Bo Pelini sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Bo.

Bo Pelini doesn't fart, he detonates

Superman wears Bo Pelini pajamas to bed.

Bo Pelini didn't hang the moon. He stared down an asteroid and it stopped in it's tracks.

Bo Pelini's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Bo Pelini.

Bo Pelini once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.


Bo Pelini was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Bo Pelini doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow.

They say that Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Bo Pelini laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Bo Pelini's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bo Pelini will not take sh*t from anyone

Bo Pelini once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Bo Pelini can build a snowman out of rain.

Bo Pelini's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."

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